Buhtt sex?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize