I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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