white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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