I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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