your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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