From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
