I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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