im drinking this country out of the recession.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
