I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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