I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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