Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
