I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize