She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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