Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
