You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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