He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
