i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
