Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
