ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
