I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
