Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
