ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
