I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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