i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
