Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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