somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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