By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
