EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
