how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize