She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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