I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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