does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
