why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
