I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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