After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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