so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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