Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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