Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
