i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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