when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
