dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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