More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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