well I can't set my house on fire every night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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