Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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