i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
