I think im going to throw up on grandma
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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