it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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