Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
