I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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