Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize