whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
