Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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