My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
