It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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