member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
3pm strippers are depressing
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
