remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
