There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
