she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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