If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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