'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
