Do you still have your period?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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