My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
