Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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