Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
