My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
