OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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