I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
