Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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