i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
In America we eat man semen.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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