yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
